Selection of My Twitter Favorites, Edition 1

Twitter is a microblogging service where people answer the question "What are you doing?" via 140-character messages from their cellphone, laptop or desktop. You can select the messages you find useful, amusing, or both. Here is the first edition of My Twitter Favorites:

Bertalan Meskó Berci #smit2008: I wish I had a voice recorder or something...not a single word I understand..
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Bertalan Meskó Berci #smit2008: It must be my fault but I cannot understand a word from a Japanese speaker who is talking in English...
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Joshua Schwimmer KidneyNotes Quote of the day: "My legs have become more swollen ever since I stopped standing on my head."
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ruraldoctoring ruraldoctoring I love receiving my energy bill, ever since I solarized my house. Love seeing a credit instead of balance owed.
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ruraldoctoring ruraldoctoring Sitting in ortho waiting room with friend. Just witnessed a massive hot lunch being delivered, followed by arrival of prosthesis rep.
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Paul Kedrosky pkedrosky i live in a socal beach town and am among the least beach-going people i know. used to live in canada and play minimal hockey too. hmmm.
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Paul Kedrosky pkedrosky summer winding down. kids back to school shortly. never thought i'd say this, but ... but wish they were home longer.
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Vijay scanman Ok. I think it's time I started showing signs of life at home. Sitting in front of the laptop IS NOT a sign of life as per the wife.
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Biz Stone biz A recruiter just called me and said, "I understand you used to work at Twitter..." Do they know something I don't?
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Evan Williams ev Don't like that everyone's look the same, thanks to faceyourmanga. My own avatar, on the other hand, is freaking me out.
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Chris Seper chrisseper Asked a colleague why is wife removed her "married" sttaus from her Facebook profile. He was unaware.
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Dave Winer davewiner [FriendFeed]: Nebraska man who once weighed 1,072 pounds trying to keep things light during hard times http://bit.ly/2y5C8W
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Paul Stamatiou Stammy found the culprit to all of my plumbing problems. last guy put a pressure reducing valve in backwards!
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This CommonCraft video explains what a microblogging platform is by using Twitter as an example.

Related:
A Doctor's Opinion: Why I Started Microblogging on Twitter