Parenting advice: 5 supportive gestures remembered by the mnemonic CLICC

Mnemonic CLICC:

Comfort: stay calm and patient
Listen: show interest in their passion
Inspire: expose them to new ideas
Collaborate: ask for their opinion
Celebrate: use “put-ups”, “not put-downs”

Comfort: stay calm and patient

Practice active listening and provide support.

For teens: Be present and pay attention to changes in behaviors. Offer validating and reflecting statements to help them label their own emotions when in distress.

Practice relaxation techniques such as counting to ten, deep breathing, meditation, or positive self-talk. Help them identify strategies to manage stress and control their impulses.

Listen: show interest in their passion

For teens: If a teen wishes to talk about a difficult topic, supportive listening helps them express their thoughts and make sense of their experience. Pick a safe place to talk during an activity, while playing video games or a sport, or while driving in a car. Give them time to express themselves. Allow them to share their story without interruptions, show interest, and be alert for moments of honesty and vulnerability. Give them time to express themselves before offering advice or help. Sometimes they will be more encouraged to express themselves when you are not looking directly at each other. Ask open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer.

Inspire: expose them to new ideas

For teens: Encourage Positive Thinking and Setting Goals. Encourage teens to try new things and to take part in healthy risk-taking. Suggest activities that allow them to practice skills and feel good about themselves. Ask teens who their role models are and why and help them focus on what qualities they admire. Be a positive role model yourself. When possible, create opportunities for them to meet or work with adults in areas that interest them. Explore their future goals and engage them in short and long-term goal setting —establish realistic, achievable goals. Provide opportunities for increasingly challenging tasks

Collaborate: ask for their opinion

For teens: identify and understand their obstacles, let them communicate how they’re feeling and describe the problems in their own words. Once they’ve communicated the issues, encourage them to identify potential conflict resolution strategies and pros and cons to different ideas. Engage them in a step-by-step problem-solving process until you reach a solution. Encourage them to reflect on how their peers and friends might be feeling during conflicts. Assure them that they can rely on you to be their sounding board.

Celebrate: use “put-ups”, “not put-downs”

Thus gesture supports the development of self-identity and reminds a child of their competence, importance, and lovability. When we acknowledge their birthdays, graduations or everyday accomplishments like completing their homework, meeting new friends or doing chores, we help children build positive self-esteem.

Provide affirmation and validation, recognize their individual and cultural uniqueness.

Simple examples: A cheer, a clap, a smile, a kind greeting or a statement that acknowledges them.

For teens: Encourage them to take part in activities they enjoy and that you can do together, such as video games, art projects, shooting hoops, etc. Invite them to talk about their successes and challenges and teach them the value of the process and not just the final achievement. Guide them in exploring cultural traditions and sources of cultural pride.

References:

https://changingmindsnow.org/healing
https://changingmindsnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Comfort.pdf
https://changingmindsnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Listen.pdf
https://changingmindsnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Inspire.pdf
https://changingmindsnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Collaborate.pdf
https://changingmindsnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Celebrate.pdf